Category Archives: marriage

Witchcraft in the Church

02 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by in charismatic witchcraft, Christian women, Christians, deception, deliverance, demons and devils, divination, dreams, fallen angels, false conversions, fear, ground, healing, Holy Spirit, intercessory prayer, Jesus Christ, magic, manipulation, marriage, Pam's Books, prayer, prophecy, scripture out of context, The New Idolatry, the occult/new age, the soul, truth, undeception, witchcraft

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By Gloria,

As a member of RESCUE who has experienced being set free from demons, one of the things that surprised me as I went through counseling and detoxed from religion was the fact that I had engaged in witchcraft without my knowledge. Looking back I never interacted with people who engaged in witchcraft. In fact, to my knowledge,i never even read occult books or watched any occult shows. I considered such things as the worship of the devil— pure evil which i didn’t want to be associated with.

Consequently, It was shocking and humbling to discover that some of my self- righteous religious acts were no different from those of a new age practitioner . So even though I never engaged in the occult, it was shocking to discover that I learned witchcraft practices in the Institutional Church.

Witchcraft can simply be defined as the practice of magic, the use of spells and invoking spirits.

There are several ways that I was duped into witchcraft while attending an Institutional church.

Witchcraft Prayers

I owned several spiritual warfare books and recited statements that involved commanding “angels”, the stars, planets and even God. I would bind the devil and cast him back to hell. These prayers used scripture out of context. For sure, no human can command God to do anything, so to think otherwise is foolish. We lie to ourselves if we think God is at our beck and call.

To command the sun, moon, planets and stars is delusional, but to command angels has a dangerous spin to it. Gods’ angels do not accept our invitations or instructions but fallen angels do, in order for the devil to have legal right to be in your life, you have to invite him in.

My invitation to these fallen angels had severe consequences. I started suffering from demonic torment – my mind, body and soul was under constant attack. My fear grew greatly as the attacks would happen mainly at night.

During prayer meetings, people used to be manipulated to change their ways by being shamed in public prayers where intercessors would air out people’s issues. When ministers control & manipulate people’s behavior, their actions are a clear sign of witchcraft. There are many examples of how people are controlled in the church and public prayer is one of the them.

Religious Rituals

To counter the demonic torment that I suffered from, I turned to more rituals – applying anointing oil on my bed, door, windows, ceilings and on myself. Inviting the Holy Spirit to come in and fill my apartment, I played worship music and recited bible verses and prayers. None of this helped, In fact, I simply added fuel to the fire. My religious acts were also motivated by fear not faith.

Bibliomancy

I would also, seek out random passages in the Bible and apply them to my life with no regard for the context. I also used it to “decree and declare” my future and pray for certain events to occur. This practice which I was taught in the church actually comes from the Middle ages where people who practiced divination would open the bible and whichever page they landed upon, they would read out the scripture and use it to give spiritual insight into what they are looking for. I was pretty much behaving like my own psychic.

Worshipping in the flesh

The Bridal paradigm in the church has brought about the increase of love songs to Jesus which are disguised as praise and worship songs. Everytime I engaged in a worship session, I would feel warm and tingly in my chest, I assumed that these were “feelings of God’s love” overflowing in me. These experiences were short lived which caused me to depend upon an emotional roller-coaster. The more I felt unloved,the more needed to attend more worship sessions to feel loved. I’ve come to learn that love is not a feeling & more importantly the Holy Spirit does not entertain our flesh. These manifestations of “love” were all sensual and had nothing to do with the Spirit of God. True believers of the Lord Jesus have to worship in Spirit & in Truth.

In the New Idolatry, Pastor Pam Sheppard writes in detail how witchcraft has infiltrated the Institutional Church, One part that stood out to me is how a new age practitioner and a Charismatic Christian could address a similar issue using methods that many would assume are worlds apart, when in reality, they actually are similar and run parallel to each other. Below is an excerpt from the book:-

“For the sake of comparison, consider how both a new age practitioner and a Charismatic Christian would approach a typical problem, namely, a woman seeking to stop the infidelity of a lover or husband. From the occultist, the woman might be required to purchase a defense enchantment like burying her man’s shirt at full moon, while pronouncing a curse or a magic formula seven times. As the shirt wears out and disintegrates in the ground overtime, so also will the man’s love for the other woman fade and dissolve.

Both the occultists and those deceived by charismatic teachings rely on the credulity and readiness of those they counsel and advise. In like manner, charismatic witchcraft might approach this classic problem from a variety of religious perspectives, with the twist that God is made amenable to the woman’s plans. Supernatural dreams and visions labeled the discerning of spirits, a word of wisdom, a word of knowledge and prophecy, intercessory prayers of “binding and loosing” and the taking of scripture out of their natural context and applying them to the woman’s personal agenda are the primary methods of choice. In this instance, the woman might be advised to pray over her man’s side of the bed, anoint it with oil or holy water, name it and claim it by sending forth evil prayers against her man’s lover, in unsavory ways unbefitting to Jesus Christ, and pray controlling, manipulative prayers to change the man’s behavior.Rather than deal openly with the issues of infidelity, sin and spousal abuse, Charismatics are infamous for seeking “the supernatural solution.”

To my dismay, I learned, that many practices both in and out of the church that are widely accepted as normal today actually have their origins in witchcraft. I thank God for my deliverance journey that started when I reached out to Pastor Pam who walked me through the deliverance process, helped me break my false conversion and discard false teachings. I got healed from my torment once I received the truth about the Lord Jesus Christ.

Since we live in such deceptive times, you could be engaging in witchcraft practices, totally unaware. The danger in doing so is you open yourself up to the spiritual world and give demons legal rights to enter your life and run it amok.

If you need to learn more on how witchcraft got widely accepted in the church and how to avoid being deceived get a copy of “The New Idolatry” at

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/pam_s911

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To contact us you can email rescueonfb@icloud.com or call 1-888-818-1117.

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Can You Find Mr. Right in Church?

21 Wednesday Mar 2012

Posted by in demonic soul ties, marriage

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JOINED IN BARBED WIRE!

ALL MARRIAGES ARE NOT JOINED BY GOD!

When I was an unsaved atheist, God actually did join me in marriage.  I also had sense enough to pick a man who was compatible to me in every way.  Although my first husband  died of a massive heart attack when he was very young, he left me with a jewel, the most important person in my life—my daughter who today is invaluable on so many levels.  However, once I became a Christian, I lost ALL good commonsense, assuming that I could not serve God unless I was joined to a Christian man.

Like all stories, mine can be long and involved so suffice me to put things “in a nutshell.”The  enemy had convinced me that I was called to prison ministry. In fact, a  bald-headed, huge and muscular Mr. Clean looking being came forth in a dream and bellowed at me, “I am an angel sent from God to show you your future.”The “angel” sat me down at a blueprint table and showed me a plan for several huge facilities to house prisoners and substance abusers. At the time, my uncle had promised me 300 acres of land so it “all tied together” in a neat little package. The angel also said “The man you will marry will head up the entire project. You will provide the spiritual and counseling component.”

My full testimony of how I escaped Satan’s traps are in this book. CLICK HERE TO PREVIEW

This dream was then used to draw me into marriages–with not one but two different men with serious felony records–both men sent to destroy me. The first marriage was 3 years later to Billy G., in 1988 and the second marriage in 1996 to Richard C. Billy  was married already but he was in prison. I had dated him in 1979 when he was free , not knowing that  he was married  even then. So one day I went to visit him in prison. Immediately after the visit, a power came on me so strong, with the message “Billy  is THE ONE.” Six months later, we were married in prison. I thought he was going to be released soon, not knowing that Billy  had TWO consecutive  sentences which totaled 27 years. That was 1988. He was released from  prison in December 2010 lived for 5 months and then died of a sudden stroke.

The bottom line is that  the marriage was an 8 year nightmare.  Believe it or not, I was beat down by Billy  in prison, while on a conjugal visit, on more than just one occasion. I would walk out of prison with a busted lip and other abrasions and lacerations.  I thought I was marrying a Christian, when Billy turned out to be a New Age occultist, an amateur warlock  who told me that “he had chains and gates on my soul.”

No he didn’t. On May 10, 1990, Billy  predicted that I would have a car accident in 2 weeks.  Thirteen days later, my car was hit in the back, while I was  on my way to the hospital because of the stress headache that I had for 2 weeks following his “prediction”.  I did not take his prediction seriously, yet interestingly enough,  the headache started the day he spoke his curse. On May 24, 1990,  I was on a 4 lane highway, in the middle of the day, driving about 65 miles an hour, headed for the hospital when my car was hit from behind but not totalled. The power of God came on me and I drove that car like a racecar driver.  When I drove my wreck to the hospital,   I discovered that my blood pressure was approaching stroke level.

  I broke out of Billy’s  barbed wire fence with a  chronic case of hypertension.

Then I met Richard, the love of my life. We met briefly and I told him about my dream from the angel. Richard had architect skills, so shortly after we met, he constructed a fantastic blueprint. I thought he was “the ONE” cause he could oversee building the first site. RICHARD ALSO  was NOT the one. Rich was even worst than Billy, if that could be possible. That was a 9 year nightmare with a heroin addict, a criminal with an anti-social personality. 

But the light broke through the darkness and I was set free from Richard by the hand of God.

As an aside—  Believe it or not, —Billy  sent me a letter two months before his release from prison, an obvious  invitation to “resume our marriage once he was released.” I spoke with him once, a few days after he was released. I was polite but I was firm. He died 5 months later of a stroke, 21 years to the day that he spoke a curse of death upon me.  May 10, 2011. He was buried on Friday, the 13th.  Was that the stroke that Billy had intended for me with his 13 day prediction?   God knows.

What you need to know in all of  this is that “if the enemy worked something against you and “IT WORKED,”  HE WILL TRY AND TRY AGAIN, EVEN USING THE SAME PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS. 

The lessons that I learned are not really for me.  I have the luxury of age, where I can look back over the last 40 years and see that after the death of my first husband, there was no man in God’s plan for me.  In this hour, I must press forward.  The “I’m waiting for my soul mate days” are OVER. Not that I don’t love men and romance because I certainly do.  I just have other priorities today and unfortunately, I have assessed what I desire to do with the rest of my days and “a significant other” is just not in my plans.  I can’t take the risk.

I think the message that I have to pass on to the brethren are summarized in 10 statements:

1.  Don’t just assume that because you are sensual, romantic, excellent spouse material, that there is a husband in your future.  Man was not made for woman.  It is good for him, not to be alone.  Any man who wants a wife can have one.   However, a woman can be alone and do well. 

2.  God did not call anyone “in a team.”  The work that God has for YOU to do as a woman may  not require you to have a husband.  Co-ministry can be rich and rewarding.  However, as a minister for 25 years within the religious system, I have met my share of miserable pastor’s wives.  The grass is not always greener on the other side.

3.  If you are in bondage to your desire for a mate, the enemy will take advantage of this weakness, time and time again. You must overcome the cultural cues embedded EVERYWHERE that you are less than a woman, without a man or without children.

4.  Certainly, fornication is a sin.  However, do not marry anyone JUST to avoid sex outside of marriage. If you slipped and got pregnant, DO NOT MARRY THE MAN  SOLELY FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILD.

5.  THE ENEMY NEVER GIVES UP ON THIS.  I thought that at my age, I  am  far “under the radar,” yet men seem “TO FIND ME, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.”  Even my 90 year old mother has still not gotten over her desire to have a man.  So don’t think that you’ll simply “age out.”  Not so.

6.  Learn to enjoy the simple things of life.  Don’t covet what others have. Learn to love being single. Be thankful that you woke up this morning in your right mind.  Learn to love yourself.  Love your body because its YOURS and not because you desire to seduce a partner with it.

7.  If marriage is for you, develop yourself into the kind of wife that is going to be a blessing to a man.  Don’t expect PRINCE CHARMING unless you are PRINCESS CHARMING.  Don’t depend upon what a  man can do for you.

8.  Don’t settle for anything less than WHO you are.  In fact, since a man’s ego is essential to his being, make sure that he knows who he is and where he is going.

9. The bible was written for and by a generation that for the most part, was not promiscuous.  In other words, “virgins were the norm.”  I have counseled with clients who were technically virgins, yet in the spirit, they were not.  Too much experimentation.  A virgin is a rare species in our time. When sex has been entered into, the body desires more.  It is just a natural thing.  The body will burn for it.  So don’t let Satan condemn you just because you have natural passions.  You can learn ways how to “bring your passions under submission to your own will.”

10.  Last but certainly not least, if you have a dream, a vision or receive a prophetic message which declares that “this is the person for you sent by God,” run like a bat out of hell.  It’s the devil.  God does not choose our mates.  He leaves it up to our own free will.  Don’t just take an isolated case out of the old testament.  You are not Isaac or Rebecca.

Choose your mate with good commonsense.

LET GOD USE US TO HELP YOU.CALL 518-477-5759
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Counseling Gays and Lesbians from a Christian Perspective Part 1

30 Sunday Oct 2011

Posted by in addiction, Christian counseling, gay and lesbian Christians, homosexuals, marriage, organized church

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In an article dated today, 10/30/11, Episcopalians once numbered 3.6 million in 1966. These numbers have decreased to less than 1.96 million as of today.  The article attributes the drop to the fact that thousands exited this denomination because of the 2003 consecration of openly gay bishop Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson. Also, in 209, the leadership made a decision to ordain “ALL” baptized members, intended to give approval to practicing homosexuals.

Well, let’s face it. The organized church is still celebrating Halloween and practicing yoga and calling it “Christian.” So pastors have not a clue as to how to counsel gays and lesbians in their various churches.  The archaic approach is either to ostracize them by waving the bible in their faces and portraying ALL Christians as narrow-minded,  judgmental finger pointers, or the church  take the opposite position and allow men dressed in drag to sing in the choir.

So some intelligence and true spirituality must be brought to this discussion.

From a Christian counseling perspective, there are three viewpoints that guide the counseling process: homosexuality as demonic oppression, as a conduct disorder and as an alternative lifestyle.  

Secular counseling professions  view homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle and therefore, therefore see  no need for  cure..  Even some professing Christian counselors, the idea of being a Christian and an active homosexual is vehemently defended.  Their understanding is that there is no biblical condemnation for a monogamous and lasting homosexual relationship within the context of love and whose counterpart would be heterosexual marriage. This is ignorance.

At Sheppard’s Counseling Center, we use the bible as our standard.  Therefore, we only will counsel homosexuals who desire a change in their orientation.  We  do not attempt to counsel professing Christians or non-Christian homosexuals who have no desire to change their sexual orientation. For a gay or lesbian client to enter counseling with the SCC, three (3) things are mandatory:

1. The client must possess great motivation to change.

2. The client must be committed to invest his or her time in the counseling and recovery process.  He or she  must not miss sessions.

3. The client must believe in the existence of demons and be willing to engage in spiritual warfare, signing a disclaimer which states that we have in no way tried to convince or coerce him or her toward a change in sexual orientation.  ie. accepting full responsibility to leave his or her orientation behind.

Our view is that homosexuality can be either  demonic oppression, a conduct disorder and or both.  As demon oppression,  since the cause is “spiritual” then the treatment is also “spiritual.”   Our  point of view is that struggling individuals have no power over what was done to them as children (ie. the orientation) but they DO have power over their own behavior and practices.  This view gives the client a “safe place” which allows the counseling to become fruitful.  The focus of the counseling  is not on who the person is but on the behavior, over which he or she has control.  If there is  literally no control, then demons have successfully gained ground.

There are several theories about the development of homosexuality.  Most cases are linked to childhood sexual abuse. Through incest, rape and sexual abuse, demons of perversion are given ground in childhood.  In other cases where sexual abuse is not a factor, counseling will explore the parent-child relationship, ie. was there a lack of identification with the parent of the same gender, did the client as a child not develop the appropriate sexual role, has the object of sexual desire remained linked to the need for the approval and affirmation of the same-sex parent.  We will examine if the family relationships manifested a history of distrust, sexual abuse, traumatic experiences with the opposite sex,  or whether or not the client chose this lifestyle because  he or she believed  it  to be fashionable.

Our  belief  at SCC is that a change in orientation is possible, as long as the client  desires to change and is dedicated to do so. In Christ, all things are possible.  The client should be warned that the emotional scars from the past may still persist and therefore  may take considerable time to heal.  Those who are truly dedicated to Christ will obey Him, ie.  if thy right hand offend you, cut it off.”  In other words, even though the client may desire to sleep with someone of his or her own gender, we as Christians do not follow the desires of our flesh.  Heterosexual fornicators are in a similar position.  The unmarried are to be celibate or to marry.  Homosexuals have the same two choices.  However, if they marry, it must be to someone of the opposite sex.

 It should be noted that we do not believe that marriage cures homosexuality and should never be sought as such.  A single Christian of either gender is in  the same position as a Christian homosexual or lesbian.  They have two options also: to marry or to be celibate.    Besides marriage to someone of the opposite sex, the only option that a Christian homosexual has is to be celibate, walk in the spirit and not fulfill the lust of his or her flesh.  Simply put,  As Christian counselors, we view all sex outside of marriage as sin.

 If this issue pertains to YOU or someone you know, counseling help is available by the hour by telephone.  So call 518-477-5759

Satan's Agenda for a Little Girl Part II

23 Sunday Oct 2011

Posted by in depression, divorce, fake Jesus, marriage

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Pam cast a demon of depression from me and I haven't been depressed since that day, two years ago.

Shortly after I aborted my first child, I left the boyfriend who had gotten me pregnant. I was so desperate to be loved, driven to be loved. It would lead me into a string of promiscuous relationships opening myself deeper to the depression demon. After my sister’s death, I rallied against these demonic entities, wanting to be free. I always had a yearning to be free from the sadness and the loneliness. I had let go of the thoughts of any religion at that point and decided to do things on my own. Shortly after, I had met someone who would eventually become my husband. He was a classic narcissist, but in a way, I wanted someone who was so involved with themselves that they couldn’t see how dirty and used I was. I was fully bulimic at the time, trying to keep my weight down so I would be attractive to my soon to be husband.

 I believe now, that it was those lustful spirits in me that attracted men with the same spirits. I ended up becoming pregnant again and aborted it even though it was with the man I was going to marry.  I was lonely and knew that there was really no love, I never felt loved but I married him anyway. I remember waking up on my wedding day and saying to myself “What have I done?” One of Satan’s big lies is, you better get married right now because there may not be anyone else who want’s you. So you settle for less than what God has for you. Not knowing it then, but God was going to save me, He knew my heart and He gave me two children as a blessing. Depression however was always with me. When, 8 years after our marriage I hit the wall. My husband was terrible to me, angry and mean. My children were out of control…I went outside and cried out with all my heart to the Lord…”SAVE ME! I cannot be saved unless you save me, I’m sorry for not listening to you!”

He did save me, the problem was, I had always been led by emotions and emotional experiences…so for all of those years I was led by the fake jesus and his demons, they were still working but now, they could use my salvation . This was the jesus who would fight with me to go from a Lutheran church, to a Charismatic  Non Denominational church. It would make me cry every week in the shower. I bought into the lie, hook, line and sinker. Because of the false doctrine, and the emotional aspect, I went deeper into depression and the deeper I went into depression, the deeper I went into the church.

 It was cyclical, looking for my answers there as if God was a “candy machine.” This is how they teach, ” just ask God,  just tithe, just do what God want’s you to do, be faithful, go to more events, pray more, get on your knees more, dance more, get involved more  etc etc etc.” It just put me into more and more bondage. At one point, driving home in my car after church, all I could think was, “it’s never going to happen, I am always going to be sick and depressed!” I wanted to believe there was a way, but I knew what I was doing wasn’t working. Only God could have opened my eyes to what was going on, I couldn’t have brought myself to see it. I remember a time in worship I was worshiping in full extension, arms over my head, lost, and I felt the Holy Spirit saying to me, “they worship me with their mouths, but their hearts are far away from me.”

 Immediately my hands went down. It was from then on God began to reveal truths to me. Eventually, God brought me out and led me to Pam and to my freedom. Satan couldn’t stop what God had intended for me because He always knew my heart….there is hope for you too.

If you suffer from demonic affliction, depression, abortions,   a bad marriage,  phony religion, you should  call Sheppard’s Counseling Center today. Even if you just need to talk, the phone lines are open right now. Her team of supervised deliverance ministers, are waiting to serve you. Your deliverance, and full freedom in Christ is Pam’s number one concern. The fact that she has 38 years of experience as a licensed therapist  under her belt, should beckon you to the phone to make the call. Call Now! (518)477-5759.

I WAS SET UP TO MARRY BY A FALLEN ANGEL

23 Sunday Oct 2011

Posted by in Christian man, deliverance testimony, demonic soul ties, divorce, fallen angels, marriage, prison ministry, soulmate, Uncategorized

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JOINED IN BARBED WIRE!

ALL MARRIAGES ARE NOT JOINED BY GOD!

When I was an unsaved atheist, God actually did join me in marriage.  I also had sense enough to pick a man who was compatible to me in every way.  Although my first husband  died of a massive heart attack when he was very young, he left me with a jewel, the most important person in my life—my daughter who today is invaluable on so many levels.  However, once I became a Christian, I lost ALL good commonsense, assuming that I could not serve God unless I was joined to a Christian man. 

 Like all stories, mine can be long and involved so suffice me to put things “in a nutshell.”The  enemy had convinced me that I was called to prison ministry. In fact, a  bald headed, huge and muscular Mr. Clean looking being came forth in a dream and bellowed at me, “I am an angel sent from God to show you your future.”The “angel” sat me down at a blueprint table and showed me a plan for several huge facilities to house prisoners and substance abusers. At the time, my uncle had promised me 300 acres of land so it “all tied together” in a neat little package. The angel also said “The man you will marry will head up the entire project. You will provide the spiritual and counseling component.”

My full testimony of how I escaped Satan’s traps are in this book. Click the cover to preview

This dream was then used to draw me into marriages–with not one but two different men with serious felony records–both men sent to destroy me. The first marriage was 3 years later to Billy G., in 1988 and the second marriage in 1996 to Richard C. Billy  was married already but he was in prison. I had dated him in 1979 when he was free , not knowing that he was he was married  even then. So one day I went to visit him in prison. Immediately after the visit, a power came on me so strong, with the message “Billy  is THE ONE.” Six months later, we were married in prison. I thought he was going to be released soon, not knowing that Billy  had TWO consecutive  sentences which totaled 27 years. That was 1988. He was released from  prison in December 2010 lived for 5 months and then died of a sudden stroke. 

The bottom line is that  the marriage was an 8 year nightmare.  Believe it or not, I was beat down by Billy  in prison, while on a conjugal visit, on more than just one occasion. I would walk out of prison with a busted lip and other abrasions and lacerations.  I thought I was marrying a Christian, when Billy turned out to be a New Age occultist, an amateur warlock  who told me that “he had chains and gates on my soul.” 

 No he didn’t. On May 10, 1990, Billy  predicted that I would have a car accident in 2 weeks.  Thirteen days later, my car was hit in the back, while I was  on my way to the hospital because of the stress headache that I had for 2 weeks following his “prediction”.  I did not take his prediction seriously, yet interestingly enough,  the headache started the day he spoke his curse. On May 24, 1990,  I was on a 4 lane highway, in the middle of the day, driving about 65 miles an hour, headed for the hospital when my car was hit but not totalled. The power of God came on me and I drove that car like a racecar driver.  When I drove my wreck to the hospital,   I discovered that my blood pressure was approaching stroke level. 

  I broke out of Billy’s  barbed wire fence with a  chronic case of hypertension.

Then I met Richard, the love of my life. We met briefly and I told him about my dream from the angel. Richard had architect skills, so shortly after we met, he constructed a fantastic blueprint. I thought he was “the ONE” cause he could oversee building the first site. RICHARD ALSO  was NOT the one. Rich was even worst than Billy, if that could be possible. That was a 9 year nightmare with a heroin addict, a criminal with an anti-social personality. 

But the light broke through the darkness and I was set free from Richard by the hand of God.

As an aside—  Believe it or not, —Billy  sent me a letter two months before his release from prison, an obvious  invitation to “resume our marriage once he was released.” I spoke with him once, a few days after he was released. I was polite but I was firm. He died 5 months later of a stroke, 21 years to the day that he spoke a curse of death upon me.  May 10, 2011. He was buried on Friday, the 13th.  Was that the stroke that Billy had intended for me with his 13 day prediction?   God knows.

What you need to know in all of  this is that “if the enemy worked something against you and “IT WORKED,”  HE WILL TRY AND TRY AGAIN, EVEN USING THE SAME PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS. 

The lessons that I learned are not really for me.  I have the luxury of age, where I can look back over the last 40 years and see that after the death of my first husband, there was no man in God’s plan for me.  In this hour, I must press forward.  The “I’m waiting for my soul mate days” are OVER.  Not that I don’t love men and romance because I certainly do.  I just have other priorities today and unfortunately, I have assessed what I desire to do with the rest of my days and “a significant other” is just not in my plans.  I can’t take the risk.


I think the message that I have to pass on to the brethren are summarized in 10 statements:

1.  Don’t just assume that because you are sensual, romantic, excellent spouse material, that there is a husband in your future.  Man was not made for woman.  It is good for him, not to be alone.  Any man who wants a wife can have one.   However, a woman can be alone and do well. 

2.  God did not call anyone “in a team.”  The work that God has for YOU to do as a woman may  not require you to have a husband.  Co-ministry can be rich and rewarding.  However, as a minister for 25 years within the religious system, I have met my share of miserable pastor’s wives.  The grass is not always greener on the other side.

3.  If you are in bondage to your desire for a mate, the enemy will take advantage of this weakness, time and time again. You must overcome the cultural cues embedded EVERYWHERE that you are less than a woman, without a man or without children.

4.  Certainly, fornication is a sin.  However, do not marry anyone JUST to avoid sex outside of marriage. If you slipped and got pregnant, DO NOT MARRY THE MAN  SOLELY FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILD.

5.  THE ENEMY NEVER GIVES UP ON THIS.  I thought that at my age, I  am  far “under the radar,” yet men seem “TO FIND ME, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.”  Even my 88 year old mother has still not gotten over her desire to have a man.  So don’t think that you’ll simply “age out.”  Not so.

6.  Learn to enjoy the simple things of life.  Don’t covet what others have. Learn to love being single. Be thankful that you woke up this morning in your right mind.  Learn to love yourself.  Love your body because its YOURS and not because you desire to seduce a partner with it.

7.  If marriage is for you, develop yourself into the kind of wife that is going to be a blessing to a man.  Don’t expect PRINCE CHARMING unless you are PRINCESS CHARMING.  Don’t depend upon what a  man can do for you.

8.  Don’t settle for anything less than WHO you are.  In fact, since a man’s ego is essential to his being, make sure that he knows who he is and where he is going.

9. The bible was written for and by a generation that for the most part, was not promiscuous.  In other words, “virgins were the norm.”  I have counseled with clients who were technically virgins, yet in the spirit, they were not.  Too much experimentation.  A virgin is a rare species in our time. When sex has been entered into, the body desires more.  It is just a natural thing.  The body will burn for it.  So don’t let Satan condemn you just because you have natural passions.  You can learn ways how to “bring your passions under submission to your own will.”

10.  Last but certainly not least, if you have a dream, a vision or receive a prophetic message which declares that “this is the person for you sent by God,” run like a bat out of hell.  It’s the devil.  God does not choose our mates.  He leaves it up to our own free will.  Don’t just take an isolated case out of the old testament.  You are not Isaac or Rebecca. 

Choose your mate with good commonsense.

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