What does the Bible say?

A controlling mother may simply quote the Bible if she feels you slipping from her influence, manipulating the word of God to control you. The word of God commands us to honor our father and our mother. But if a dominating mother is using this scripture to manipulate and control your actions and decisions, something is wrong.

 Controlling mothers forget that the scripture also says that fathers (and mothers) should not provoke their children to wrath. Even so, we know from scripture that those who practice manipulation and domination are practicing witchcraft. Not only that, but their spirits are rebellious. Ask yourself if your controlling mother’s plans for you, line up with God’s plans for you. In other words, you can’t live your life according to the plans of others.

Consider This…

There are all kinds of people in the world, just as there are all kinds of mothers. Not every mother is godly. Not every mother is saved. And not every mother is emotionally stable. You’ll have to examine the behavior of your own mother, to see if it lines up with scripture. For example, the word of God says that we are to leave our mothers, and cling to our spouse. Therefore, when controlling mothers insist on ruling over their children, they are in error. You love your mother. Therefore, you may want to defer to her, even if  she’s controlling.

 Yet, the word of God opposes such a choice. We often forget that if the Son has made us free, we are free indeed. So then, why live  a life of misery when trying to comply? Why obey a domineering controlling mother if her demands  are out of sinc with your own salvation?  Trying to please a controlling spirit, no matter who they are is really sin. It may be hard to wrap your head around this, but you must ask yourself whether your mother’s bias plans agree with Gods plans for you.

If your mother insists on ruling your life, your children’s lives and your husband’s life, she is rebuking your adulthood. Such a mother, wants you under her coat tails.

 A controlling mother is selfish, and unconcerned with how you feel. A controlling mother, has no qualms about hurting your feelings. A controlling mother has developmental problems of her own, for whatever reason. Yet, you can still honor an emotionally abusive mother, while protecting your own emotional health. For example, you can distance and/or limit your time with her. If a controlling mother refuses to acknowledge her domineering ways, you have your emotional health to consider.

Forgive Your Mother and Be Wise in Your Dealings with her…

If you have suffered in the hands of a controlling mother, know that you did not make her this way. It is not your responsibility to try and change her. Only God can soften hearts. You will end up with additional emotional stress, when trying to change a controlling spirit. Controlling spirits need deliverance. Perhaps your mother suffered under the controls of her own mother. Perhaps she did not. Either way, it’s completely useless to argue with spirits. Seek peace and pursue it. Sometimes, the peace you seek, will come by seperation. If you continue to put up with binding controls from a mother who dismisses your adulthood, peace will flee away from you. Your world will consist of drama, confusion and shame. Have you ever felt quilty for standing up to a fault finding mother? If you have, believe me, I know what you are talking about.

What About the Cultural Differences…

I had a very interesting conversation with Pam Sheppard regarding culture, and controlling mothers. I was never one to say that certain cultures had certain characteristics. But I find that I was wrong about this. Pam and I briefly discussed how culture plays a part in the way mothers interact with their children. Pam and I are from West Indian parentage, and there are major differences in the way we were brought up, in comparison to our American friends.

 In addition, I was born in England, so there are some difference in my own approach to life. I tend to display the British over politeness. Anyway, Pam really shed some light on the topic. My eyes were opened! My own mother was a very strong figure in my life. She had an Island pride, and forcefulness about herself. Her personality scared me, when I was a young girl. I noticed this with all the females in my family. They all seemed to lead their households with an iron fist, with no apology to husband, or anyone else.  They also  followed the age old adage, that children should be seen and not heard. To say that Island parents are old school is an understatement.

Find out more…

To find out More on this and the topic of culture and controlling mothers, my best advice is that you read Pam Sheppard’s books on the topic. Knowledge is power, and Pam has over 30 years experience that you can draw on. Might I add, that your peace of mind, and emotinal health is a priority. Okay then, I hope you join this blog. Shoot me a comment below. I’d love to hear your story!!!

Founder and CEO of pamsheppardpublishing.com, Pam is the first to coin the phrase, cultural witchcraft in 2 of her 6 books: Faces of the Religious Demon and the New Idolatry. To know more about this form of manipulation, domination and control of parents, relatives and peers from a cultural context, these books can be reviewed and/or purchased at www.pamsheppard.com/bookstore