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 By Pam Sheppard



fb_5There is a serious contradiction in hoping for  for salvation while still lusting after things offered by the world. The Lord made it plain that He is not of this world.  We are in the world but we are not OF the world.  If you strongly   desire the things of the world, Why do you really desire to be saved, other than some religious person laid a fear and guilt infested reason upon you? The scriptures say that friendship with the world is enmity towards God. So if you are still desiring things according to the world’s expectations, why do you claim you want Jesus Christ of Nazareth?  In other word, who are you fooling?  It sure aint HIM!!!! He knows your heart better than you do!!!!

What happens to religious people is that they have been denying the things of the world because they were afraid of her, yet they still desired her.  In this country, our pursuit of happiness is what gets us stuck because we are trained by the world to assume that we are entitled to everything the world offers, including her sin.

Take me for example.  Growing up in NYC, my mother prohibited me from doing what the other kids in   the neighborhood were doing. I had to be in the house by sunset, sorrowfully and reluctantly leaving all the other kids who played out in the summertime til midnight.   As long as I lived in my mother’s house, I could not have dates, young men could not even walk me home or call my house.  So the social life that I was denied, I strongly desired.  Consequently, as soon as I got out of my mother’s house by going to college, I WENT WILD!!!!! I was an 18 yr old virgin, set free from all the restrictions, who went from an A student the first semester to a D student.  I let it all hang out.  I started hanging off of bar stools,  looking for love in all the wrong places, simply because I felt I was entitled to what I called MY LIFE!

Likewise, any time a religious person has been restricted from the world BEFORE becoming born again, once the world presents an opportunity, all commonsense and caution are thrown to the wind.

Once you REALLY become ‘IN CHRIST,” then the lust for the world will automatically die of its own accord.  I have been dead to the world for 37 years.  It was only through going to church, that the world was placed in my face AGAIN.  And that is the irony.  All of a sudden, I had to have a man, to be married, to have all of the “things” the IC preached I was entitled to.

I had been born again about four years when God began calling me to ministry. My bible teacher got a message for me one day. I was sitting in class and he saw a ring on my finger. It had an onyx stone in the center of it. As my fingers actually had no rings on them, it was a vision of sorts.

I asked Steve Slivinsky, the one who introduced me to the charismatics by giving me a Kenneth Hagin book went on to interpret it.

He said “The onyx stone was one of the 12 stones on the ephod of the priests. Perhaps God is calling you to ministry. Or perhaps the man in your life, your future husband will give you this ring.”

I completely ignored the first interpretation, ran out and wrote down the second interpretation and had it notarized, so that when the man came along, as he gave me the ring, I would prove to him that “he was the one” by whipping out the notarized word.

What an asshole I was!!!!!

that was the year 1981. 33 years ago. I don’t know where that statement is but I have had two husbands and at least four or five other boyfriends and aint nobody given me an onyx stone YET!!!!!!!

I had at least 10 other signs in 1981 that supported that GOD WAS CALLING ME TO MINISTRY.

The Lord let me know several years back that my problem was that I wanted a husband MORE than I wanted to serve Him.It was about eight years later that I heard from God where He said “as long as you keep this man/husband thing on your brain, you will reject the real ministry that I have for you.

I cried. I knew this word to be the truth.

So what did I do? I blended the two. My husband would be a minister and I would be his co-pastor. What a mess that turned out to be, with the devil sending me not just  one man from his arsenal, but two, totaling 17 years of stress and trouble.

Well, years have gone by and I have developed into a woman in Christ who is not called to co-pastor NUTHIN! It took dealings, trials and tribulations of diverse kinds  for me to come out of the world with my thinking and with my emotions..So   I say, face your lust for the acceptance and standards of the world now, or the devil will sift you like wheat later.

Relevant Books

If you are seeking an online  fellowship because you have left the IC, consider RESCUE.  Visit us at http://www.aboutrescue.com or call us at 518-477-5759 or send an email to rescueonfb@icloud.com